Name: The Bruises

During the 1940’s and ‘50’s the three bruises performed in Sonia Henie’s ice show productions at the Centre Theatre in New York City (Radio City Music Hall’s sister theatre). They additionally skated in her Hollywood Ice Revue shows.

Biographies from various show programs:

Geoffe Stevens, Monte Scott and Ken Leslie are examples of Arthur M. Wirtz’ extensive system of finding icedome’s greatest performers. The Bruises have proved the perfect counterpoint to icedom’s most glamorous and elaborate settings.

This slapstick trio began a hilarious career in England and have been associated with Wirtz productions since they came to America in 1939. They were stars in Wirtz’ Rockefeller Center Theatre Productions before joining the Hollywood Ice Revue in 1949.

Their skit was born on a Christmas Eve in a London arena. They happened upon two char ladies busy at their tasks after nipping the boss’ favorite beverage. The routine struck them as so funny that they invented a skit which has kept two continents laughing ever since. Critics have come to know the Bruises as the most copied act in the entertainment world.

They call them “The Three Bruises” and that name aptly fits the trio of buffoons of the ice who have been called the “funnymen of royalty” by the British press and who are one of the star acts of the All Star European Ice Revue. In real life they are Jeoffery Stevens, Sid Spalding and Monty Scott.

Before they turned pro they used to fool around and perform antics before and after hockey practice and a British producer, who needed a comedy act for the production “Marina,” saw them and he knew his search was ended. Since that time they’ve skated all over Europe, spent some time in the hospital recovering from the results of some of their hairbrained stunts and appeared in command performances before the present King and Queen of England, the Duke and Duchess of Windsor, and the ex-King Alphonso of Spain.

Jeoffery Stevens is the leading member of the trio and is the only one of the lot who is a comedian both on and off the ice. He has been skating for sixteen years and during that time has been practiced on by hemstitching surgeons just about as much as Eddie Shore, the great defense star of the Boston Bruins of the National Hockey league. One night when finishing up a rehearsal, there was a spill and the jagged point of a figure skate ripped out his left eye, part of his nose and a good five inches of forehead. He spent weeks in the hospital and his present nose was built from part of his hip bone by a clever plastic surgeon. The muscle of his left eye was severed and, although he can still see out of it, it never moves. Altogether it took 37 stitches to close the wound. While playing hockey a butt end of a stick caught him just under the nose and tore a gash just above his upper teeth and broke the bone, that was a bit of embroidery that took 21 stitches to complete, and his upper jaw was in a cast for months. A couple of other cuts here and there needed about 30 more stitches to close and he himself says he looks like a crazy quilt.

Spalding fell down a cliff a hundred feet high at Brighton about eight years ago, got up, dusted himself off, and walked away. He was only bruised. Stott broke his neck and didn’t know it was broken until three hours later when he was taken to a hospital after he had fainted at home. He was fixed up as good as new. They were in Czecho-Slovakia when the Germans took over that country and they were shunted all over the place before they finally managed to get back to England.

Their oddest accident occurred when Stott and Spalding were overcome by the fumes of lavender water and fainted dead away during their performance of “Tishy, the Wonder Horse.” They had just received a new skin and didn’t like the odor of the leather and deluged the inside of the hide with the lavender water. Then they put the hide on and started skating the fumes generated by the heat of their bodies knocked them both out cold and the horse had to be carried off the ice.

Monty Stott was born in Calcutta, India, and was sent to England by his parents to be educated in the motherland and he never went back to the tropics. While going to school at Brighton, he learned to skate and decided to make hockey and exhibition his career. He worked on tramp steamers in the summer, and helped operate the ice rink in the winter until he finally turned pro with his mates. Unlike Stevens, Monty has seldom been hurt while playing hockey or skating, although while tearing out on the ice he caught his right arm on the door leading into the rink, and almost ripped it loose from his body. All of the shoulder ligaments were torn and it was many a week before he was able to use it again. Besides antiques are his hobby, he operates an antique shop as a sideline at Brighton.

Sid Spalding is the mechanical minded member of the outfit. He is a licensed radio operator, but he has more fun skating and wants to make his living that way. He is the silent member of the funmakers, and when he leaves the ice forgets comedy. He was the best hockey player of the three, being one of the best known defense men to ever play in Europe. He had a number of offers to play in Canada, but turned them down when the “Bruises” received their offer to turn pro.

Those four glamour Girls, “The Three Bruises and Buster Grace,” of London and Brighton, England, who have brought a new type of comedy to the United States. Their slapstick efforts have stolen a show time after time and veteran critics say they’re the funniest quartet to ever appear on skates.

One of the most refreshing bits of this European Ice Revue is a new and different horse act on skates, in which the “Bruises,” Jeoffery Stevens, Sidney Spalding and Monty Stott, take the parts of the “Ringmaster” and “Stale-biscuit” the thorobred.

Besides being comedians the “Bruises” are also accomplished free style skaters and were amateur hockey stars before taking up comedy.

The Bruises -1960 Ice Capades *Note name changes

These riotous clowns, Noble Rochester, Johnny Leech and Hami Brown would do anything for a laugh, and they do! Although they take many hard bumps and falls during the course of their performance, the experience of years has perfected their timing to the point that they do so in relative safety. One of the most famous of all ice show comedy acts, The Scrubwomen originated when late one evening when they saw one of the arena’s charwomen try the ice not knowing the boys were watching. They translated her amateurish attempts into what has now become the classic comedy routine on ice.

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